There are many good reasons to get married: true love, companionship, mutual respect. However, the #1 reason for entering into this sacred and legally binding covenant is obvious: you get lots of household appliances.
Of course, I don't really mean to say that appliances are the best thing about getting married. The best thing is all the china and flatware. Soon, there will come a day when I won't even have to say, "Honey, where's our other fork?" Instead, I'll be able to say things like, "Where are the other asparagus tongs?
Having lived in NYC for 7 years now, and in Paris the years before that, I can't say that in the past decade I've even once owned more than two of any kitchen-related item, and usually the two I have don't even match. Like most New Yorkers, I usually haven't even had a kitchen, just a "bathen" (a convenient kitchen-bathroom combo).
This lack of matching, decorative dinnerware and accessories is something that absolutely horrifies the female members of my Southern family. My aunts actually develop tics when I mention that I don't own a set of monogrammed napkin rings. Or any other kind of napkin-restraining device. So I try to avoid mentioning the fact that sometimes Paul and I fight over who gets to use the "good fork." I was recently tempted to put some napkin rings on the wedding registry, but then I realized a) napkin rings are absurd, and b) I'll be getting tons of napkin rings anyway, as wedding presents. Probably already monogrammed, so no chance of exchanging them for something more useful, like one of those dancing plush hamsters.
However, household appliances are actually very useful (using the term cautiously). As of yesterday, I now own my very first non-hand-me-down deluxe toaster oven, which came in the mail as a gift from Aunt Cecilia and Uncle Ed. In recent years, I've owned several toaster ovens, but they were always the sad orphans of some friend or neighbor who was throwing things overboard during a move, or who had purchased a toaster oven that actually made toast. For a while, I had a toaster oven that only heated up one side of the bread, but I was still too cheap to buy a new one. This is rather absurd, as a toaster would have cost way less than any number of ill-advised clothing purchases (e.g., hooded gold lame tube top; clear plastic skirt) that hang in my closet as grim reminders of why I don't have any savings.
My most recent toaster came to live with me when my friend Stacey moved, last October. In addition to having three (3) table saws in her apartment, she also had at least two extra toasters, of which I ended up with one. (I also ended up with a paraffin hand waxer, a bolt of upholster fabric, several lamps, framed wall art, frying pans, two chairs, wine glasses and a couch; it was a minor fraction of her leftovers, but it pretty much furnished my apartment.) It wasn't a bad toaster oven, but nonetheless, it had been around for several years. And it wasn't originally mine. It's very life-affirming to have a toaster of one's own.
Yesterday, we also got a 20-piece set of Pyrex as a gift. I'm not sure exactly what you do with Pyrex, but I think it's involved in the making of casseroles. I don't know that I've ever made a casserole, or how (or why) one would go about doing so. But nonetheless, I registered for the Pyrex mega-set. Fortunately I can store it in the oven, because my oven doesn't even work. Which will present an obstacle for actually using all this bakeware, but the important thing is just to own it. Like how having a gym membership makes you feel more in shape, owning a set of bakeware makes one feel more ... married. Or something.
Of course, I don't really mean to say that appliances are the best thing about getting married. The best thing is all the china and flatware. Soon, there will come a day when I won't even have to say, "Honey, where's our other fork?" Instead, I'll be able to say things like, "Where are the other asparagus tongs?
Having lived in NYC for 7 years now, and in Paris the years before that, I can't say that in the past decade I've even once owned more than two of any kitchen-related item, and usually the two I have don't even match. Like most New Yorkers, I usually haven't even had a kitchen, just a "bathen" (a convenient kitchen-bathroom combo).
This lack of matching, decorative dinnerware and accessories is something that absolutely horrifies the female members of my Southern family. My aunts actually develop tics when I mention that I don't own a set of monogrammed napkin rings. Or any other kind of napkin-restraining device. So I try to avoid mentioning the fact that sometimes Paul and I fight over who gets to use the "good fork." I was recently tempted to put some napkin rings on the wedding registry, but then I realized a) napkin rings are absurd, and b) I'll be getting tons of napkin rings anyway, as wedding presents. Probably already monogrammed, so no chance of exchanging them for something more useful, like one of those dancing plush hamsters.
However, household appliances are actually very useful (using the term cautiously). As of yesterday, I now own my very first non-hand-me-down deluxe toaster oven, which came in the mail as a gift from Aunt Cecilia and Uncle Ed. In recent years, I've owned several toaster ovens, but they were always the sad orphans of some friend or neighbor who was throwing things overboard during a move, or who had purchased a toaster oven that actually made toast. For a while, I had a toaster oven that only heated up one side of the bread, but I was still too cheap to buy a new one. This is rather absurd, as a toaster would have cost way less than any number of ill-advised clothing purchases (e.g., hooded gold lame tube top; clear plastic skirt) that hang in my closet as grim reminders of why I don't have any savings.
My most recent toaster came to live with me when my friend Stacey moved, last October. In addition to having three (3) table saws in her apartment, she also had at least two extra toasters, of which I ended up with one. (I also ended up with a paraffin hand waxer, a bolt of upholster fabric, several lamps, framed wall art, frying pans, two chairs, wine glasses and a couch; it was a minor fraction of her leftovers, but it pretty much furnished my apartment.) It wasn't a bad toaster oven, but nonetheless, it had been around for several years. And it wasn't originally mine. It's very life-affirming to have a toaster of one's own.
Yesterday, we also got a 20-piece set of Pyrex as a gift. I'm not sure exactly what you do with Pyrex, but I think it's involved in the making of casseroles. I don't know that I've ever made a casserole, or how (or why) one would go about doing so. But nonetheless, I registered for the Pyrex mega-set. Fortunately I can store it in the oven, because my oven doesn't even work. Which will present an obstacle for actually using all this bakeware, but the important thing is just to own it. Like how having a gym membership makes you feel more in shape, owning a set of bakeware makes one feel more ... married. Or something.
posted by Marguerite at 10:06 PM
1 Comments:
don't underestimate the power of Pyrex, you can fling it with total abandon at your partner's head, and when i crashes in the wall two inches from your beloved's ear, it will take down everything within a two yard radius, yet land safely on the floor without a scratch! it can also double as a great jell-o shot platform, sure to please all at your first adult, married dinner party.
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