Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year and crap! Today, P and I started the New Year off right by watching about 15 hours of network television and eating gratuitously over-fried food ordered from 3 Guys diner (I think they even fried the napkins). The nice thing about New York city is that you can go for days, weeks even, without ever having to put on pants.

Being slightly hung over, or possibly still drunk, or possibly just stupid, it seemed like a good idea to watch Zoolander, which came on TBS for the 10,003rd time this weekend. Zoolander was actually the high point of our cinematic journey today, which ended with King Kong Lives! (orignially, and more appropriately entitled King Kong Blows!).

In King Kong Lives!, we discover that King Kong never actually died when he fell off the Empire State building. Instead, he was taken to Atlanta, to the famous Center for the Advancement of City-Attacking Giant Gorillas(CACAGG), which may or may not be owned by Ted Turner. Apparently, the great ape had developed a heart condition as a result of being shot down by airplanes (although he might have also been taking Vioxx). All the leading minds in the field of City-Attacking Gorilla Cardiology were hard at work trying to develop an artificial heart for the ailing Kong.

The situation looks bleak until hunters stumble upon a female King Kong (Queen Kong?) in Borneo, perhaps running down a beach with her hair in corn rows. She looks just like King Kong, except that she looks even more like a guy in a bad monkey suit. In a very moving turn of events, the two giant gorillas (who look like they should be wearing a sandwich board on 42nd Street, advertizing a Monster Appliance Sale), end up falling in love. Kong is fortunately able to put Ann Darrow behind him, perhaps after going on Dr. Phil to resolve his issues with dating his own species.

The whole story line didn't make much sense, but it did have its moments. My favorite line in the movie - possibly my favorite line in any movie, ever, was when Linda Hamilton (as the sexy giant-gorilla-artificial-heart-transplant-specialist), following Mr. and Mrs. Kong through the woods, opens her sleeping bag to the blond hunter dude, saying (AND I QUOTE), After all, we're primates, too.

That was rad.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, New Year's eve was good. We went to a party at Helen and Fletcher's super-fabulous loft in Greenpoint, guest starring Morgan and Sheri, who moved to Seattle a few months ago. There was a chocolate fountain and ridiculous quantities of champagne and other inebriants, such as deep-fried irish sausages, and several live bands (including Paul's band Live Girls!!!, exclamation points included). Bands with members who aren't afraid to take off their clothes on stage are inherently better than bands where everyone necessarily feels the need to remain dressed. That's my official position on the matter, anyway.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jolynn said...

Sounds like you had a lot of fun. I know how to see King Kong Lives, or maybe not. Happy New Year!

7:45 AM  
Blogger Gypsy said...

rock n' roll was founded on the premise that sometimes, nudity just happens. that and the statement: "she looked 18 to me", which has gotten a lot of mileage.

7:30 AM  

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