Today on the Internet ...
From the "I really should be working" files ...
Instead, I learned the following on the Internet:
1. If I lived in Orlando (#1 on the angry list) I'd probably go postal, too, after hearing the Lite Jazz remix of "It's a Small World After All" for the 3,000th time on any given day.
But, that said, it seems like the study might be flawed, as its measures of "anger" are largely based on rates of hypertension and aggravated assault. Increased hypertension is often, but not exclusively the result/indicator of anger; high blood pressure also comes from genetics, eating too many BBQ chicken wings (Hooters was, alas, founded in Florida), etc. And the rate of aggravated assault in Florida is higher than in other states in part because so much of the traffic in drugs comes through Florida, which leads to a higher than average incidence of gang-related violence.
But St. Pete? All they have there are retirees and sea sponges (no, really; I've been there) .
Of course, if I worked in the sponge industry, I think I would be angry with the world for making me have to think and possibly even make graphs about sea sponges. Sponges + Powerpoint presentations = recipe for disaster.
2. I think we all believe that President Bush has read more than 60 books this year. More importantly, we believe that he's winning the reading contest with Karl Rove, who has only read 50 books. Much in the way that Bush has also won the Olympic gold medal in the Luge event 60 times this year (and counting!). Sadly, Karl only won it 50 times.
This is yet another example of the triumph of belief over fact, which is becoming an epidemic in our country. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, I just wish it could apply to everybody, and not just politicians. For instance, I could tell all my credit card companies that I've already paid them much more than Karl Rove paid them since the beginning of the year, so why don't they just go away? And I'll tell my job that I already raised $3 million this year, so I'm going to go to just go to Texas and cut brush and/or read books about supply-side economics for the rest of the year.
I'm not saying it's humanly impossible to read 60 books over the past 7 and a half months. But even a President who's "literary-minded" (not the first adjective that springs to mind to describe W.) would be hard pressed to find time to read 2.14 books per week since the beginning of the year. And we're not talking My Pet Goat. The books on the Presidential Reading List include titles such as The Great Influenza, a 560-page tome about the public health epidemic of the early 20th century. Not exactly a Dan Brown novel, with those 2-page paragraphs that make you feel clever for reading 10 chapters in as many minutes.
I know he's spent about 8 weeks on vacation this year, but really, we've never seen any evidence to suggest that Bush is a bookworm. In fact, he's the only U.S. President in history who has never written anything about his policies. Other Presidents wrote articles, or sometimes even books (well, I guess there's the autobiography Bush famously didn't remember writing).
Furthermore, it's interesting that "White House aides" say that Bush is out-reading Karl Rove (who might have read 50 books, possibly with titles such as How To Eat Babies, and Nature: Why Doesn't it Just Go Fcuk Itself?)
But then again, 50% of the country doesn't believe in evolution, and DOES believe that Christ is going to come back any day now and take all registered Republicans directly to heaven without dying, on a glowing chariot pulled by flying babies. If only it would happen sooner rather than later ...
3. And Chicago. Excuse me, but $18 million in lost sales from Fois Gras? How much fcuking duck liver are you people eating? Of course, the Chicago City Council would do well to remember what happened in the Windy City during Prohibition. I can see it now. Violent street gangs with tommy guns will erupt over illicit fois gras; goose liver "speakeasies" will pop up so that people can get their fix of illegal pâté, made from ducks raised in some guy's basement.
Come on, Chicago. This could only end badly. Except for the ducks ...
Instead, I learned the following on the Internet:
- People in Florida, especially Orlando, are the angriest in the nation. (I wonder which cities are the most apathetic? Or the most giddy?)
- President Bush has read more than 60 books this year.
- The serving of foie gras has been banned in Chicago restaurants. Chefs say the ban "will cost more than $18 million a year in lost sales ... and may even dissuade chefs from opening restaurants here." I guess the "McFoisGras with Cheese" will have to be taken off the menu at McDonalds in the Windy City.
1. If I lived in Orlando (#1 on the angry list) I'd probably go postal, too, after hearing the Lite Jazz remix of "It's a Small World After All" for the 3,000th time on any given day.
But, that said, it seems like the study might be flawed, as its measures of "anger" are largely based on rates of hypertension and aggravated assault. Increased hypertension is often, but not exclusively the result/indicator of anger; high blood pressure also comes from genetics, eating too many BBQ chicken wings (Hooters was, alas, founded in Florida), etc. And the rate of aggravated assault in Florida is higher than in other states in part because so much of the traffic in drugs comes through Florida, which leads to a higher than average incidence of gang-related violence.
But St. Pete? All they have there are retirees and sea sponges (no, really; I've been there) .
Of course, if I worked in the sponge industry, I think I would be angry with the world for making me have to think and possibly even make graphs about sea sponges. Sponges + Powerpoint presentations = recipe for disaster.
2. I think we all believe that President Bush has read more than 60 books this year. More importantly, we believe that he's winning the reading contest with Karl Rove, who has only read 50 books. Much in the way that Bush has also won the Olympic gold medal in the Luge event 60 times this year (and counting!). Sadly, Karl only won it 50 times.
This is yet another example of the triumph of belief over fact, which is becoming an epidemic in our country. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, I just wish it could apply to everybody, and not just politicians. For instance, I could tell all my credit card companies that I've already paid them much more than Karl Rove paid them since the beginning of the year, so why don't they just go away? And I'll tell my job that I already raised $3 million this year, so I'm going to go to just go to Texas and cut brush and/or read books about supply-side economics for the rest of the year.
I'm not saying it's humanly impossible to read 60 books over the past 7 and a half months. But even a President who's "literary-minded" (not the first adjective that springs to mind to describe W.) would be hard pressed to find time to read 2.14 books per week since the beginning of the year. And we're not talking My Pet Goat. The books on the Presidential Reading List include titles such as The Great Influenza, a 560-page tome about the public health epidemic of the early 20th century. Not exactly a Dan Brown novel, with those 2-page paragraphs that make you feel clever for reading 10 chapters in as many minutes.
I know he's spent about 8 weeks on vacation this year, but really, we've never seen any evidence to suggest that Bush is a bookworm. In fact, he's the only U.S. President in history who has never written anything about his policies. Other Presidents wrote articles, or sometimes even books (well, I guess there's the autobiography Bush famously didn't remember writing).
Furthermore, it's interesting that "White House aides" say that Bush is out-reading Karl Rove (who might have read 50 books, possibly with titles such as How To Eat Babies, and Nature: Why Doesn't it Just Go Fcuk Itself?)
But then again, 50% of the country doesn't believe in evolution, and DOES believe that Christ is going to come back any day now and take all registered Republicans directly to heaven without dying, on a glowing chariot pulled by flying babies. If only it would happen sooner rather than later ...
3. And Chicago. Excuse me, but $18 million in lost sales from Fois Gras? How much fcuking duck liver are you people eating? Of course, the Chicago City Council would do well to remember what happened in the Windy City during Prohibition. I can see it now. Violent street gangs with tommy guns will erupt over illicit fois gras; goose liver "speakeasies" will pop up so that people can get their fix of illegal pâté, made from ducks raised in some guy's basement.
Come on, Chicago. This could only end badly. Except for the ducks ...
posted by Marguerite at 12:22 PM
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