Extreeeeeeeme Scrabble
Last night, Paul and I played a game of "Extreme Scrabble" before going to bed (contrary to the rumors, this somewhat dangerous pasttime has nothing to do with how he broke his arm). Extreme Scrabble is just like regular Scrabble, but each player can only take 2 minutes for each turn (that, and it has the word "Extreeeeeeeeme!" in front of it).
Entirely Unrelated Sidenote: Far too many things are coming in Extreeeeeme! versions lately, if you ask me. Ironically, in most cases this appellation only makes sense if you add "sucks in the ..." in front of it. Usually, "Extreeeeeeeme!" simply means that additional food coloring and/or high fructose corn syrup has been gratuitously added to soda, burritos, frisbees, etc. I'm just waiting for the Frisbee Burrito - it's extreeeeeeeme! Throw it!/Eat it!/ Throw it up!!! Your vomit glows in the dark! (Have you ever noticed how TV announcers always speak as if every other word were BOLD ITALICIZED!!!!?) Sadly, the Frisbee Burrito could never happen, because Frisbee is a registered trademark, so they'd have to call it "Extreeeeeme Novelty Flying Disc Burrito!" which just doesn't have the same ring.
Anyway, back to Scrabble. Paul and I have often said, in a tone that imitates joking, that if we were ever to divorce, there's a strong chance that the statement: "quim is NOT a real word!/ YES IT IS!!!" would be cited under "reason for divorce." However, that is not the moral of this particular story.
We were about 15 minutes into the game when Paul threw down "Hoax" on a triple word score with a double letter on the "x," for a total of 66 points. Because we were playing the quick, or, extreeeeeeme! version, so most of my words were a measly 5 or 10 points, so this put him in the lead by about 80 points. Naturally, I felt like "accidentally" turning over the board. Ooops! And then "inadvertently" stomping on it before letting all the letters fly, by "mistake," out of my hands and through the window, little wooden snowflakes of consonants and vowels falling down into the cold hard streets of a bewildered city.
Not that I'm a poor looser.
It seemed, at that point, that I'd might as well quit. So I put down throw-away words, just wanting the whole thing to be over. Then, I got the Q. Then the U. "Queer" in a triple word score! From there, more possibilties started to open up. To make a long story short, because it just occured to me that I'm telling a story about Scrabble --- yes, that's what I'm doing --- I ended up with 249 points at the end of the game, compared to Paul's 237. Yes, children - I won. It was like one of those inspiring movies about an plucky inner city football team that teaches their grizzled white coach an important lesson about why corporal punishment is entirely justifiable.
Anyway, I learned a very important lesson, which was, obviously, that I really am a total dork. And that's ... okay.
Entirely Unrelated Sidenote: Far too many things are coming in Extreeeeeme! versions lately, if you ask me. Ironically, in most cases this appellation only makes sense if you add "sucks in the ..." in front of it. Usually, "Extreeeeeeeme!" simply means that additional food coloring and/or high fructose corn syrup has been gratuitously added to soda, burritos, frisbees, etc. I'm just waiting for the Frisbee Burrito - it's extreeeeeeeme! Throw it!/Eat it!/ Throw it up!!! Your vomit glows in the dark! (Have you ever noticed how TV announcers always speak as if every other word were BOLD ITALICIZED!!!!?) Sadly, the Frisbee Burrito could never happen, because Frisbee is a registered trademark, so they'd have to call it "Extreeeeeme Novelty Flying Disc Burrito!" which just doesn't have the same ring.
Anyway, back to Scrabble. Paul and I have often said, in a tone that imitates joking, that if we were ever to divorce, there's a strong chance that the statement: "quim is NOT a real word!/ YES IT IS!!!" would be cited under "reason for divorce." However, that is not the moral of this particular story.
We were about 15 minutes into the game when Paul threw down "Hoax" on a triple word score with a double letter on the "x," for a total of 66 points. Because we were playing the quick, or, extreeeeeeme! version, so most of my words were a measly 5 or 10 points, so this put him in the lead by about 80 points. Naturally, I felt like "accidentally" turning over the board. Ooops! And then "inadvertently" stomping on it before letting all the letters fly, by "mistake," out of my hands and through the window, little wooden snowflakes of consonants and vowels falling down into the cold hard streets of a bewildered city.
Not that I'm a poor looser.
It seemed, at that point, that I'd might as well quit. So I put down throw-away words, just wanting the whole thing to be over. Then, I got the Q. Then the U. "Queer" in a triple word score! From there, more possibilties started to open up. To make a long story short, because it just occured to me that I'm telling a story about Scrabble --- yes, that's what I'm doing --- I ended up with 249 points at the end of the game, compared to Paul's 237. Yes, children - I won. It was like one of those inspiring movies about an plucky inner city football team that teaches their grizzled white coach an important lesson about why corporal punishment is entirely justifiable.
Anyway, I learned a very important lesson, which was, obviously, that I really am a total dork. And that's ... okay.
posted by Marguerite at 7:31 PM
1 Comments:
It's okay, everyone has their dorky moments. There's still hope for you.
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