Monday, May 08, 2006

My Parasites & Me, The Sequel

Within the past week, I've had not one but three entirely separate conversations about Toxoplasmosis, a condition caused by microscopic parasites that make women want to go shopping (I wrote about it here back in January). Infection comes from exposure to raw or undercooked meat (esp. red meats, such as steak tartare), or through exposure to cat feces. The worldwide infection rate is about 30% , whereas in France, the infection rate is up to 85%. This is possibly because of the French fondness for eating raw cat feces, or, cat feces tartare.

Typically, infection is asymptomatic. However, if you're a woman, it might cause you to dress like a hooker, and/or a middle-aged French woman (i.e., you start wearing a leather bustier and stilletto heels to your job as a secretary at the phone company). And if you're a man, you might stop taking showers, and be chronically jealous, only in part because your girlfriend dresses like a hooker and you know you know other men smell much better than you ...

The other day I was trying to explain this concept to several of my co-workers, who are French. I think we were talking about how French women tend to accessorize much better, and (as much as I hate to admit it) look better overall than women from other countries. I tried to put forth the argument that the famous "je ne sais quoi" of les françaises has less to do with an inherent cultural superiority (as the French would, of course, have you believe), and more to do with parasites that are eating up their collective brains.

I tried to explain this idea in French, roughly translated into English as follows: See, there are parasites in the head. And they force you to buy more clothes. But the parasites come originally from rats. They make the rats not afraid of cats, thus endangering the rats, who the cats then eat. But afterwards, in humans, the women want to do the sex with many men, whereas men become jealous.

My co-worker responded. But of course, because their women are doing the sex with too many of the men!

Their expressions helped me to realize that I sounded completely bat-sh*t crazy (merde de shauve-souri?). Should have thought this through before talking ... But impulsiveness, as it turns out, is also a symptom of Toxoplasmosis.

From Wikipedia: There are claims of toxoplasma causing antisocial attitudes in men and promiscuity[11] (or even "signs of higher intelligence"[12]) in women, and greater susceptibility to schizophrenia and manic depression[13] in all infected persons. "

Wow, it causes "higher intelligence" in women? What are the chances???! Maybe it causes cats to ride bicycles, too?

Anyway, it turns out that the concept is just as hard to explain in English. Maybe harder. But I keep trying to explain it, because I'm fascinated by the idea of parasites that have evolved to alter the personality of host organisms. We're a "dead-end" host for this parasite, that gets to the cats (where it wants to be) via the rats (whose personality it alters). Ending up in humans is just an added bonus.

Or maybe, deep down, the parasites really just wanted to go to Neiman Marcus to buy impractical shoes, but lacked the feet? They went to Oz and the Wizard gave them a magical hot-air ballon made of cat feces, to take them home ...

7 Comments:

Blogger Jolynn said...

For some reason I have images of cat feces in my mind. Ugh. Make them go away.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Marguerite said...

Eeeh - sorry about that! And to think that most people with toxoplasmosis have inadvertantly eaten catcrap, even if only microscopic amounts from garden fruits & veggies, which often contain traces ... Oh, wait - that's not helping, is it?

12:09 PM  
Blogger littlemute said...

Is that what the guy from Trainspotting was suffering from at the end?

12:55 PM  
Blogger Sh! eelag hnaGig said...

Toxoplasmosis is only dangerous for pregnant women. Whic begs a certain question. Marguerite, do you have something to tell us?

7:41 AM  
Blogger Marguerite said...

No, alas - I'm still far too immature to have kids, even though my high school friends (ahem) all seem to have adorable, precocious children. As always, I'm the last of my friends to do stuff. Like being the last girl in middle school to get a bra (even if I'm still waiting to actually need one...). Of course, the chances of me psycholocially scarring a bra are probably less than with a child ...

The toxoplasmosis thing just has to do with a fascination with parasites that alter the personality of the host. In other words, because I'm a giant dork. Because of a personality-altering parasite??? I like to think maybe it is.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Sh! eelag hnaGig said...

We have an ad on the telly for Yakult (a yoghurty drink which is supposedly good for you even though it's highly processed and in a bottle made of the "bad" plastic--you know--the one you can't recycle and the one that leaks toxins, well more toxins, blah blah blah), in which a really dorky skinny guy with a cowlick across his forehead (but really cute at the same time) expounds on the virtues of bacteria. That's you that is.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Jolynn said...

Um, no. I almost spew in my coffee. Thanks for trying.

8:00 AM  

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