95% Cotton, 100% Ironic

Okay, it's too hot, and I'm too lazy, and I assume nobody's reading this anyway, so ... The other day, I came across this site, selling ironic right-wing t-shirts. Conservatives trying to be ironic is just so ... ironic.

It's like those photos of dogs in ironic clothing that you sometimes find on the cover of Hallmark cards that are supposed to be funny, with a punch line like "Congratulations, Dog-gone it!"

For instance, here's one of their featured novelty shirts:


There's another version, modeled at the bottom of this page. A goofy looking dude is sporting an exceptionally high-quality cotton shirt that reads "I just neutered the cat. Now he's French!"

This has inspired me to start a t-shirt company of my own. The first one will read:

I just lobotomized the cat. Now he's a Republican.

Or, better yet:

I just lobotomized the cat. Now he thinks your t-shirts are funny.

But that's not all. These shirts also offer the kind of biting, and insightful political commentary that only t-shirts, novelty belt buckles, and Rush Limbaugh's latest arrest report (freebasing cat laxatives "from his housekeeper"?) can offer.

My personal favorite is:


Journalists are the ones to blame for all the problems in this country, after all. Especially all those commie-pinko bastards over at Fox News.

Can we start with Bill O'Reilly?

This t-shirt. Your ass. A shoehorn. SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.



Ironically, the t-shirt above is featured right by this one:



So ... the Bill of Rights is not negotiable, EXCEPT the whole free speech and freedom of the press thing, which is just for pussies. And the FRENCH.