Neanderthals, etc.
I would say more about post-wedding depression, but it's just too depressing. It's like I'm suddenly realizing all these things that suck that I just didn't have the time or inclination to notice before. At the same time, I know all of the things I'm internally whining about are really profoundly trivial, and I'm incredibly lucky on most levels and deeply grateful for all the many good things in my life, including but not limited to my two NEW KITTENS!!!!! New kittens!!!!
Still, my job leaves much to be desired, in part because there are no kittens in my office, although there are mice, 2 other persons, and the occasional well-fed roach. I should be glad that I'm doing something to help humanity by working for a nonprofit, but at the end of the day, I'm just not a do-gooder. I feel pretty sure that would require owning a pair of clogs. I would much prefer to serve the world by spreading irony to the masses, which ironically, is ironic, considering my job is 99.9% Irony Free.
I really want a new job. "Fund development" is an insanely boring profession. Sometimes I try to work something non-serious into grants and/or "individual solicitation letters" (asking folks for money, in nonprofit lingo). My theory is that it would actually wake up the poor sucker who's forced to read the government grant.
"So, a priest, a rabbi and the world's fastest man walk into this nonprofit literacy program ..."
Maybe not. Still, you could train a neanderthal to write grants, assuming they still existed. If they did, I'm sure there would be a nonprofit dedicated to training Persons of Caves to do things that the rest of us prefer not to do.
Speaking of Cave Persons ...
Apparently, they've discovered that, about 40,000 years ago, "single cave in France was home to Neanderthals, modern humans, and hyenas."
Thus giving rise to the very first "reality show." See, when they say a single cave ... they mean that all the inhabitants were also single. Not to mention hip and trendy,living in a cave dwelling, a.k.a. "duplex loft, low light, w/panoramic view of hyena den" according to the neolithic real estate brokers.
The tension mounts when Gror, 22, Neanderthal/Account Executive, butts heads with Kelly, 19, Hyena/Actress/Model/Whatever, when she leaves half-eaten corpses of antelope on the coffee table. Tension further mounts when Rolk, 25, Early-Human/Hunter-Gather Executive gets the hots for Gror's girlfriend, who then kills Kelly and eats her for dinner, partly because Kelly broke the alliance in voting Gror out of the cave, but mostly just because hyenas are just tasty.
Still, my job leaves much to be desired, in part because there are no kittens in my office, although there are mice, 2 other persons, and the occasional well-fed roach. I should be glad that I'm doing something to help humanity by working for a nonprofit, but at the end of the day, I'm just not a do-gooder. I feel pretty sure that would require owning a pair of clogs. I would much prefer to serve the world by spreading irony to the masses, which ironically, is ironic, considering my job is 99.9% Irony Free.
I really want a new job. "Fund development" is an insanely boring profession. Sometimes I try to work something non-serious into grants and/or "individual solicitation letters" (asking folks for money, in nonprofit lingo). My theory is that it would actually wake up the poor sucker who's forced to read the government grant.
"So, a priest, a rabbi and the world's fastest man walk into this nonprofit literacy program ..."
Maybe not. Still, you could train a neanderthal to write grants, assuming they still existed. If they did, I'm sure there would be a nonprofit dedicated to training Persons of Caves to do things that the rest of us prefer not to do.
Speaking of Cave Persons ...
Apparently, they've discovered that, about 40,000 years ago, "single cave in France was home to Neanderthals, modern humans, and hyenas."
Thus giving rise to the very first "reality show." See, when they say a single cave ... they mean that all the inhabitants were also single. Not to mention hip and trendy,living in a cave dwelling, a.k.a. "duplex loft, low light, w/panoramic view of hyena den" according to the neolithic real estate brokers.
The tension mounts when Gror, 22, Neanderthal/Account Executive, butts heads with Kelly, 19, Hyena/Actress/Model/Whatever, when she leaves half-eaten corpses of antelope on the coffee table. Tension further mounts when Rolk, 25, Early-Human/Hunter-Gather Executive gets the hots for Gror's girlfriend, who then kills Kelly and eats her for dinner, partly because Kelly broke the alliance in voting Gror out of the cave, but mostly just because hyenas are just tasty.
posted by Marguerite at 7:34 AM
5 Comments:
that's brilliant. we'll have to talk about getting that pilot together.
I always wonder who these people are that absolutely love their jobs. I like my job and I like the people I work with, but my favorite part of my job is the vacation time. What job would make me get up on time every morning without hitting snooze? I may never know.
If the mythical job-loving people really do exist, they're smart enough quiet about it, because they're afraid that people will hunt them down and kill them and then apply for their jobs. At least that's my theory.
Good point! I agree with that theory. Especially the part where they're mythical. They must be.
well i think you just unearthed your new hidden talent, pitch strategies for new reality television! you could freelance your services across the networks, taking the highest bid for the release of "The So-Real Life: 40K AD". i can see it now...
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