Blue Monday (& other days that sound like Swedish pop-techno bands)
Happy Blue Monday! Supposedly, today - the third Monday in January - is officially the Most Depressing Day of the Year.
At an awards show last night, Today had these words to say: "First, I'd like to thank George W. Bush ... the weather (shout out to my homey Global Warming!) uh ... the unexplainable popularity of Ashlee Simpson .... that cashmere dog blanket you bought for your cousin on Black Monday, that you now realize will cost an additional 19.8% in interest on your Visa card ... oh, and my wonderful agent ... "
The speech went on and on.
However, the idea that this is the most depressing day isn't what worries me. As citizens, I think we should all be concerned the recent rash of color-coded "anti-holidays" (is that a word? If not, can I officially Coin it? And sell it in a handsome collector's edition from the Marguerite Mint?).
First it was Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, when all the retailers go back "in the black." Until this past November, most of us had never heard this aren't-we-clever expression. But then, suddenly, it's everywhere. As if it were a time-honored second-tier holiday, printed on the calendar of every American, but not always observed. Kind of like Boxing Day for the British.
As if Black Friday had been established by the Early Church in an edict from Pope Pius Capitalist IV, as depicted in a stained glass window reproduced on a collectible chalice for Early Burger King (Burgher King?).
That's the scary thing - the marketing gurus have subtly, silently replaced the kings' decrees and papal declarations of old. Instead of making laws that tell you what you can and can't do, they just manipulate you, and let you make your own horrible choices (e.g., Ashlee Simpson). It's infinitely more sinister.
As the story goes, the advertizing exec - I mean, "scientist" (or was that Scientologist?) - who came up with Blue Monday was hired by an online travel site. They noticed that people don't buy a lot of tickets, etc. in mid-to-late January. As a public service, they wanted to encourage people to book vacations to sunny places (as a total coincidence, this is also how they "make money"). So the date for Depressing Day, as it was originally called, was derived through a series of calculations like x=1/the age when you got your first kiss times the square root of the pre-tax fee for "calculating" the most depressing day of the year.
Unfortunately, it backfired. As soon as I heard that this was the most depressing day of the year, it really cheered me up. It took off all the pressure to be not-unhappy. I couldn't stop smiling all day.
At an awards show last night, Today had these words to say: "First, I'd like to thank George W. Bush ... the weather (shout out to my homey Global Warming!) uh ... the unexplainable popularity of Ashlee Simpson .... that cashmere dog blanket you bought for your cousin on Black Monday, that you now realize will cost an additional 19.8% in interest on your Visa card ... oh, and my wonderful agent ... "
The speech went on and on.
However, the idea that this is the most depressing day isn't what worries me. As citizens, I think we should all be concerned the recent rash of color-coded "anti-holidays" (is that a word? If not, can I officially Coin it? And sell it in a handsome collector's edition from the Marguerite Mint?).
First it was Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, when all the retailers go back "in the black." Until this past November, most of us had never heard this aren't-we-clever expression. But then, suddenly, it's everywhere. As if it were a time-honored second-tier holiday, printed on the calendar of every American, but not always observed. Kind of like Boxing Day for the British.
As if Black Friday had been established by the Early Church in an edict from Pope Pius Capitalist IV, as depicted in a stained glass window reproduced on a collectible chalice for Early Burger King (Burgher King?).
That's the scary thing - the marketing gurus have subtly, silently replaced the kings' decrees and papal declarations of old. Instead of making laws that tell you what you can and can't do, they just manipulate you, and let you make your own horrible choices (e.g., Ashlee Simpson). It's infinitely more sinister.
As the story goes, the advertizing exec - I mean, "scientist" (or was that Scientologist?) - who came up with Blue Monday was hired by an online travel site. They noticed that people don't buy a lot of tickets, etc. in mid-to-late January. As a public service, they wanted to encourage people to book vacations to sunny places (as a total coincidence, this is also how they "make money"). So the date for Depressing Day, as it was originally called, was derived through a series of calculations like x=1/the age when you got your first kiss times the square root of the pre-tax fee for "calculating" the most depressing day of the year.
Unfortunately, it backfired. As soon as I heard that this was the most depressing day of the year, it really cheered me up. It took off all the pressure to be not-unhappy. I couldn't stop smiling all day.
posted by Marguerite at 5:46 PM
1 Comments:
I wonder if that's the reason I woke up in such a crappy mood this morning. Oh wait, that happens every Monday. It doesn't explain anything.
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