Legumes Guarantee a Happy New Year

A slightly belated Happy New Year to all y'all out there.

Personally, I'm very optimistic about the coming year, because I finally figured out what I was doing wrong. For the past 9 years (since I've lived in New York), I've been tempting fate in the most ridiculous of ways. It should have been obvious before now.

No, I'm not talking about boozing, smoking, consorting with men I hardly know, going out partying until 5 a.m., flying Air Tran, or any other devil-may-care activities of the past decade.

Much worse. In recent years, I've neglected to eat Hoppin' John on New Year's Day.

If you were born above the Mason Dixon line, you're probably wondering, "who's Hoppin' John?" You probably just hope he's not the family horse, but perhaps you've seen documentaries about the South (e.g.,"The Dukes of Hazard"). So you know those folks Down There are just "weee-aahd."

When I was growing up, I learned from my grandmother and mother, both South Carolina natives, that if you didn't eat your Hoppin' John and greens on New Year's Day, you'd might as well just call the exterminator and put a fumigation tent over your house. Huh? Yes, a tent. Because you could be certain that a plague of locusts would descend upon you the very next day, and follow you right until the end of the year, along with IRS troubles, hemorrhoids, and - worst of all - unflattering haircuts.

Next time New Year's rolled around, you would know to eat your black-eyed peas and rice, and you would eat them with alacrity. And a side of cornbread.

Until January 1, Paul, who grew up in California, thought that "Blackeyed Peas" was just the name of an over-hyped music group. Poor thing had never had a black-eyed pea in his deprived, West Coast life. And he almost didn't get the chance. I had to go to three different stores here in Manhattan to find a bag of frozen "Blackeye Peas." The canned ones are a bit better, but they don't seem to sell them up here. Is this just a regional thing? Doesn't everyone eat blackeyed peas? Maybe not. Who knew?

There are as many variations on the Hoppin' John recipe as there are families, but the two main ingredients are rice and blackeyed peas. Usually there's some onion, bell pepper, garlic and assorted "natural and artificial flavors." Some people eat it with pork, but in our household, it was mostly just beans and rice. And this would be served with collards or turnip greens every Jan. 1.

"The greens are the dollars, and the peas are the coins," my grandmother would say, "so eat them all up so you'll have lots of money in the New Year."

I know this was probably just a saying someone came up with to get kids to eat their greens, but it seemed like they believed it was an exact science. Whenever the mutual funds or stocks are having a particularly good year, we know in our hearts that it has nothing to do with interest rates or the refinancing of the Yen, or Karl Rove biting the head off of a live chicken (which, apparently, is just for a snack, and not a part of a Satanic ritual ....). We know that the world economy hinges upon what we ate for dinner on New Year's Day.

For the past decade, I've been wondering why my financial situation has sometimes been a bit, ahem, less than robust. All this time, I thought it was because I've been "spending more than I earn" along with "poor financial planning."

To think, all along, it was just about not eating blackeyed peas on New Year's Day ...